The Dangerous Myth of ‘No Problems’ in Childhood: A Bold Perspective

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Problems are an essential part of life. Without them, life would be boring, monotonous, and still. Problems aren’t something to fear; they push us to grow, learn, and expand as individuals. Without problems, there would simply be no evolution.

The truth is, a problem doesn’t have to be the end of the world, as we sometimes think. It depends on how we look at it. What may seem like a big obstacle to you could be just a small inconvenience to others. This is where the perspective changes: if we learn to see it positively, a problem becomes an opportunity.

What we must first teach our children is that problems are not the villain of the story, but rather a tool that can help us improve. For them, a problem is often something to avoid at all costs. However, our responsibility as teachers and parents is to change that view and show them what a problem is.

Facing the problem: The first step to growth
Many children, like all of us, are used to running away from problems. What we’re always told is, “Don’t get into trouble,” but if we don’t try anything new, if we don’t make risky or tough decisions, we’ll never know what’s beyond our comfort zone. Life is full of decisions and challenges that help us grow, but they also invite us to be brave.

It’s true that when we’re small, it seems possible to live without problems. But as we grow, we realize that this isn’t true. No matter how hard we try to hide or deny them, problems will always be there. So, why not change the narrative? Instead of teaching them to avoid problems, we can teach them to face them.

The concept of “problem”: Understanding it to overcome it
I explain a crucial distinction to my students. They must understand that a problem isn’t inherently “bad”; it’s a reaction to a situation we need to resolve. The difference lies in whether a problem comes from an action without thinking or from trying something new and different. A problem can be seen as an opportunity if we teach them to approach it the right way.

In a conversation with one of my students, Sophia, she asked, “How do I know if what I’m going to do is something good or something bad?” I answered with something I learned from great mentors, like Tony Robbins, but adapted for her: “Sophia, when something is good for you, it makes you feel good, it benefits others, and it contributes to the common good, don’t hesitate to do it. Imagine you want to learn to ride a bike. Is it good for you? Yes, it feels good to learn something new. Is it good for others? Yes, because you can share it and play with other kids. Is it good for the common good? Yes, your parents like to see you playing sports. So, that’s a good decision.”

I explained that while learning to ride a bike may bring challenges (like falling or losing balance), those are part of the process. And I asked her, “Would you stop trying something wonderful just because you might face problems?” And Sophia replied, “No! I can handle the problems.”

The power of the solution: The right approach to solving problems
It’s completely normal to initially focus on what happened and how a problem makes us feel. But it’s crucial to teach children that what’s most important isn’t staying in the problem, but in the solution. That’s where the magic lies.

The size of the problem doesn’t matter as much as the size of the solution. When we focus on the solution, everything changes. Problems, big or small, are opportunities to find answers, learn, and improve. And most importantly, we can always try again. Sometimes a strategy doesn’t work, but that doesn’t mean we give up. Children need to learn to use the solutions they’ve already proposed, and if one doesn’t work, they can try another or even combine several.

What I teach my students is that there is always a way to solve problems. As Tony Robbins says, “There is always a way.”

With my students, we decided to change the meaning of problems and create a poster together with the definitions that would help us solve them. Here are 5 key principles you can share with your students so they understand problems positively:

5 Key Principles for Defining a Problem

  1. Problems aren’t for me, they’re for me.
    Problems aren’t something that happens to us; they’re something meant to help us grow. They push us to find solutions, learn, and improve.
  2. Problems are learning opportunities.
    Every problem is a lesson in itself. They teach us to think differently, be creative, and face the unknown.
  3. Problems help us know ourselves.
    Through problems, we discover our strengths, weaknesses, skills, and abilities. Each challenge is an opportunity to learn more about who we are.
  4. Problems make me wiser.
    Wisdom doesn’t just come from theory, but from experience. Through each problem, we gain practical knowledge that makes us wiser for the future.
  5. Problems make me braver.
    Facing a problem, instead of running away from it, gives us courage. Every time we overcome a challenge, we feel more confident in our ability to handle whatever comes next.

Changing the mindset in children: Less fear, more action

When we reflect with my students on these keys, it’s not that problems disappear from the classroom, but the conflict reduces and the attitude improves. The children begin to see problems as something natural, not as something negative.

My students are now braver. They have a different attitude toward problems and mistakes. They feel more capable of facing them without feeling defeated. Even families have told me that this approach has reached their homes, and children explain to their parents that problems are part of life. And the praise keeps coming!

I remember a moment when one of my students, faced with a difficulty, admitted that the problem she was facing had a solution. And if she couldn’t find the solution, she would look for it in her list of options. At that moment, I realized that often, it’s the students who surpass the teachers!

Sometimes, problems may seem like mountains impossible to climb, but with the right approach, they can become trampolines to personal growth. As teachers, we have the incredible responsibility of teaching children that problems don’t define them, but how they face them does. If they learn to see problems as learning opportunities, they will become much more prepared for life.

If you’re looking for more exercises and situations on how to teach children to solve problems, I’m leaving you a wonderful list of activities. Take a look! I’m sure they’ll be of great help.

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