Sofía was a student who always appeared to be very obedient. She was the type of girl who stayed silent for hours, paying close attention to what you said, and always ready to do what you asked. Her soft voice and reserved behavior made her stand out in class.
Although her academic performance wasn’t the best, Sofía tried to make up for it with what she considered excellent behavior. She came to class with her head down, avoiding looking at others, and only had short conversations with her one friend, with whom she sometimes played at recess.
She never missed an assignment, although she usually completed classwork at home since she struggled to understand it. Every time she came to class, she showed signs of nervousness; her sweaty hands reflected her insecurity.
It seemed that Sofía just wanted to please others, and often, other kids took advantage of her kindness. There were times when I felt it was necessary to intervene and talk to the group to prevent some kids from taking advantage of her, which made her feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. Because of this, I occasionally decided to speak to her classmates one-on-one.
I knew her family was going through very tough times. Her mother, a young woman, spent the day at home but distracted, while her father, a man struggling with alcoholism and addictions, was an abuser.
This wasn’t the first time Sofía showed this behavior. She had been at the school for three years without any significant changes, and year after year, teachers mentioned the same thing.
As teachers, we sometimes feel like it’s impossible to make a difference when a child’s home environment is so complicated. However, over the years, I’ve learned that although we can’t change their reality, we can strengthen their inner selves. And it’s there, inside, where the strength lies: the root of who we are and who we will become.
I decided to do something for Sofía. I knew I couldn’t count on her family, but I could take advantage of any event, like the upcoming Valentine’s Day, a perfect occasion to work on self-love. I knew this would help her.
On Valentine’s Day, I decided to work with my students on self-love. I created a simple activity: a Valentine’s card for oneself (you can see it here). The goal was for each child to write two things: first, things they love about themselves, and second, their strengths. I was very curious to see what Sofía would write.
When I handed her the sheet, Sofía raised her hand hesitantly. "Teacher, I don’t know what to put here, I don’t understand," she said, and I realized she hadn’t fully understood the instructions. When I explained it again, she responded, "Yes, teacher, but I don’t know what to write." "I don’t know what to put here, I have nothing to write, I don’t know how to do anything, and since I’m small, I don’t do anything." My mom says I’m not very good at school and that she always has to help me, that I don’t have the best grades, and at home, I don’t really like to clean or take care of my little brother. My dad says I only know how to eat and sleep."
I said, "Let’s talk for a moment, Sofía." I looked her in the eyes, and with patience, I asked her to listen: "You have many things to say about yourself. You don’t need to write about what you do well or what you don’t do. You should write about why you love yourself more than anyone or anything in the world."
Sofía, looking confused, stared at me as if this was a completely new concept for her. I asked her, "Do you know who the most important person in your life is?" She answered, "My mom?" "No, Sofía, the most important person is you."
Then, I saw a small smile light up her face, and I understood that, perhaps for the first time, Sofía was starting to realize that self-love isn’t about what others do for you, but about what you do for yourself.
I explained: "You shouldn’t love yourself for what you do for others, or for your grades, or for what your parents do or don’t do, say or don’t say. You should love yourself because it’s you, because from the moment you wake up until you go to bed, you think, feel, and experience wonderful things, like coming to school and learning, smiling, and feeling joy when you play with your little siblings."
With a shy smile, Sofía seemed to light up. She thought love was only earned by what she did for others, but at that moment, she understood that love starts from within oneself.
That’s why I dedicated myself to creating materials inspired by her, and by all those who, at some point, struggled to give themselves unconditional love for various reasons, whether cultural, familial, or otherwise.
In my resources, I wanted to reflect some of these activities that I believe have helped hundreds of children.
Practical Activities to Foster Self-Love in the Classroom:
1. Letter to Myself: "I love myself because..."
Instead of writing to a friend, children write a letter to themselves. For example: "I’m a good friend because I help others," or "I like my smile because it brightens my day." Sofía hesitated at first, but with a little help, she wrote: "I’m good at making up stories."
2. The Mirror of Kind Words
Use a mirror for the children to look at themselves and repeat three things they like about themselves out loud. This helps strengthen their self-esteem in a visual and emotional way.
3. Self-Love Jars
Each child has a jar where they place notes with positive things or things they like about themselves. This jar becomes a visual reminder of their qualities.
4. Mirror Activity
In front of a mirror, children say out loud the things they like about themselves. These can be physical traits or qualities of their personality.
When Sofía finished her card, she read the letter in her usual soft and shaky voice, but when she finished reading, she looked at me with a smile I will never forget. From that moment on, Sofía went through a very slow process of change, but she did change. Children don’t know how to love themselves when they’re born; we teach them how to do it. Every word we say about them becomes their inner voice.
Why is it so important to work on self-love in the classroom?
Self-love is one of the most powerful foundations for emotional well-being and the development of children. By teaching them to love and respect themselves, we are giving them the necessary tools to face life’s challenges with resilience. In the classroom, children need to feel valued, not only for their academic achievements but for who they are as individuals. By incorporating self-love activities into the curriculum, we give them the opportunity to build a solid self-esteem, identity, and character that will support them in all aspects of their lives.
If you want to guide your students on a journey of self-discovery and love, I invite you to explore my resources designed specifically to foster self-love in children. Make each day an opportunity to cultivate their confidence and self-esteem.
Valentine's Day, Self-Love Craft: 'I Love Myself' SEL Writing Activity
Valentine's Day I Love Myself PowerPoint: Self Love Activity and SEL SLIDES
Valentine's Day Mini Book: 'I Love Myself' SEL and Self-Love Writing Activity
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