Sarah was a quiet girl, the kind who goes unnoticed during the first days of class. You know how it is at the beginning, it’s always the talkative ones or those who can’t sit still who stand out. As a teacher, you mentally prepare for them, for the ones you know will need extra attention.
But while you focus on the "lively" ones, there are others, quieter ones, who slowly start to appear on your radar.
Sarah was one of those kids. Attentive, quiet, always with a nervous smile. But there was something about her that reminded me a little of myself. I used to be that shy, insecure child, always afraid of everything.
Although she seemed calm, I noticed she avoided interacting with her classmates, and her assignments were almost always incomplete. Her test scores were very low, and that started to worry me.
Do you know what it feels like as a teacher? You want to pause time, look every child in the eye, understand their world, and help them in some way. You want every single one of them to overcome their struggles.
Why? Because you know that what benefits them also benefits you. You know that a student who feels emotionally well does great in academics, and you will truly enjoy teaching them.
But reality is different, there are so many demands in the classroom that it seems impossible to do that for everyone.
With Sarah, I decided to try. I asked her to help me in class because I wanted to hear her voice and understand her heart. One day, when her only friend didn’t come to school, I noticed she was more tense than usual. I asked her:
—Sarah, who will you play with today?
She shrugged without saying anything.
—And what will you do during recess?
—Teacher, can I stay with you?
She gave me an excuse: "I have a cough." I knew it wasn’t true. But instead of pressing the issue, I said:
—Don’t worry about that. Come here, tell me something. Do you think I could be your friend?
For the first time, I saw a little sparkle in her eyes.
—Yes, teacher.
—Perfect! Because friends share what they like and don’t like, don’t you think?
Little by little, Sarah started to open up. She told me she didn’t want more friends because “I don’t know how to play like the other kids,” that she didn’t want to lead group activities because “the other kids are smarter than me,” and that she didn’t want to be my helper because “I’ll mess up, and they’ll laugh at me.”
Sarah couldn’t see her own value. But instead of pitying her, I decided to act.
I made it my goal to help her, using three simple but powerful strategies:
1. Rewriting Her Inner Dialogue
I told her:
—Sarah, let’s create phrases that make us feel stronger and more confident.
Together, we came up with these affirmations:
- “My mistakes make me wiser; they help me be my best.” (I knew she was very afraid of making mistakes.)
- “I can achieve anything; everything I need is already inside me.” (I knew she doubted her abilities.)
We repeated these phrases every day, not just as mindless repetitions. We sang them, said them with emotion, and embraced them enthusiastically. They became her mantra. At first, she felt embarrassed, but over time, she began to believe in every word.
2. Celebrating Small Wins
I started giving her tasks I knew she liked and could do well, handing out materials, organizing notebooks, tidying up backpacks. Every time she completed a task, I praised her in front of the whole class.
—Thank you, Sarah, for helping us!
The other kids began to see her differently. And she, little by little, started to see herself as part of the group.
3. Changing Her Words
We made a class pact: for two weeks, negative words were banned. No more “hard,” “ugly,” “impossible,” “I can’t,” or “boring.” Instead, we used: “I’ll try,” “It’s a challenge,” “I’ll do better,” “I’ll learn something good from this,” and “I’ll make it fun because it will help me grow.”
It was tough at first, but the classroom atmosphere changed, and so did Sarah.
A month later, Sarah wasn’t the same. Two months later, her transformation was undeniable. By the end of the year, her family couldn’t believe the change in their daughter.
I learned something important from Sarah: limiting beliefs are not permanent. If adults can change them, so can children. They just need someone to remind them of their greatness and show them they’re capable of much more than they think.
Do you have a Sarah in your life? Maybe it’s time to listen to her and show her how amazing and powerful she can be.
If you want to strengthen essential skills like inner dialogue, self-love and self-respect in your students, cornerstones of their personal growth, these resources are perfect for you.
- Valentine's Day I love Myself PowerPoint Presentation with Discussion Questions
- Self Respect Activity, Fox Theme Social Emotional Learning
- Positive Self Talk Mini Book With Emojis Social Emotional Learning Activity
- Positive Self Talk PowerPoint with Emojis and Discussion Questions Resource
Using them with your students will be an unforgettable experience.
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