During my time as a teacher at an international school, I had an experience that showed me how devastating a lie can be in a child's life. It was a quiet, almost routine morning when the physical education teacher told me that three girls in my class had not attended class. However, according to my records, only one was missing. Intrigued and a little worried, I found out what had happened.
I started with Violeta. After looking for her, I discovered that she had spent almost an hour in the bathroom, quietly, alone, tearing small pieces of toilet paper for no apparent reason. I remember that the technology teacher joked that Violeta was working on fine motor skills. Well, poor Violeta didn't want to go to physical education class and, to waste time, she decided to tear two rolls of paper in the bathroom.
On the other hand, there was Scarlett, another of my students, who had also been in the bathroom the whole class, 50 minutes, also tearing paper? When I finally found her, her face was pale, and her eyes reflected deep fear. With a trembling voice, she told me, “An older girl threatened me, so I couldn't leave the bathroom.” Her story was very strange; she claimed that an older classmate had held her in the bathroom and threatened her with a weapon. I felt that this story sounded like something from TV. Something didn’t add up, but at the same time, how could I ignore such a strange story?
The next morning, the situation exploded. Scarlett's parents arrived at the school accompanied by a lawyer and the police, convinced that their daughter had been the victim of a serious threat. What started as a worried comment from a girl had unleashed a storm. The administration, teachers, and parents of other students, all caught in a spiral of worry and tension, all asked ourselves: “What if what Scarlett says is true?”
In the following days, a thorough investigation was conducted, but Scarlett's story was hanging by a thread, supported only by her testimony, which had more and more inconsistencies. However, the story went so far that it ended up blaming a girl from another class, claiming that she was the one who had threatened her, and she pointed her out in front of many other girls.
One day, Scarlett approached me with a shocking revelation. She claimed she had seen the girl who had threatened her. Without hesitation, Scarlett pointed to a girl out of nowhere and identified her as the one who had supposedly made the threat. I couldn't believe it.
Curious about the situation, I called the girl over and said, "Excuse me, one of the students reported that you threatened her in the bathroom." The look on her face was one of confusion and disbelief. She responded, "I never go to the children's section, and I've never seen that girl before." This wasn't surprising, considering our school has around 1,200 students.
At that moment, I started to feel that Scarlett might not be telling the truth. I decided to speak to the girl further, reassuring her that we were simply trying to resolve the issue.
This situation made everything worse. You can imagine how that student felt being accused of something so serious when she had nothing to do with it. And here I was in the middle of it all, feeling that Scarlett was lying but not knowing what to do to get her to tell the truth. The fact is that the supposed aggressor and her family were devastated and angry; their daughter insisted on her innocence, and there was no evidence of what was claimed. It was a worrying and strange situation in every sense.
After trying everything to get Scarlett to tell the truth; drawings, truth games, and persistent questioning, she came to class several days later with swollen eyes from crying so much. She didn’t want to come to school. I asked her, “What’s wrong?” and and she confessed to me. With a choked voice, she told me that it had all been a lie, "I knew it". In reality, that day she didn’t want to attend physical education class and, fearing her parents’ reaction, she invented a story that had grown to an uncontrollable point. The weight of her lie, all the emotions and conflicts it had triggered, had crushed her.
Scarlett confessed to me that she didn’t feel calm, she couldn’t sleep thinking about the girl she had blamed, and she couldn’t do her tasks well, and her favorite shows and video games were no longer so fun when she remembered what she had said.
After days of reflecting and making amends with everyone involved, especially with the girl she had unjustly accused and her family, we also worked with Scarlett's parents since she always seemed very scared of the mistakes she made.
After a few weeks, I encouraged Scarlett to share her story with the class. Scarlett told her classmates how the lie had become a burden too heavy to bear, something that had dragged her into guilt and fear. With impressive sincerity, she explained the relief she felt in telling the truth. Through her, we all in that classroom learned how valuable it is to face the consequences with courage and the peace that comes from being honest, even when the truth hurts or is difficult to admit. For this reason, I want to share the conclusions that day we drew with the children about how we can learn to be more honest.
These ideas came from the voices of the children, based on Scarlett's situation:
- Think Before Speaking: Take time and think about what you want to say before speaking. This can help them choose words that reflect honesty.
- Admit Mistakes: It’s okay to make mistakes. Admit when you’ve done something wrong rather than hiding it.
- Ask for Help: If you are unsure about something or feel tempted to lie, you can ask a trusted adult for advice on how to be honest in that situation.
- Keep Promises: Follow through on your commitments. If you can’t keep a promise, you should be honest about it and explain why.
- Be Honest in Games: During games and sports, remind ourselves to play fair and be truthful about our scores or actions.
- Reflect on Honesty: At the end of each day, take a moment to think about your choices. You can ask yourself if you were honest and how it made you feel.I believe the children have a lot to contribute. These became a sort of classroom rules that we remembered each day at the beginning of the day.
Additionally, from this experience, I decided to work on honesty with my students, focusing on the pain that comes from keeping a lie and the damage it can cause to many people.
Here I share material that I have designed to work on this wonderful value with your class; take a look, who knows, it might help you raise the level of your class.
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